the lotus blossom .

A Short Ode to Blue.....

2010-05-05T22:12:00.000-07:00

Blue is my favorite color.....

If 'Im feelin Blue,

Then I'm feelin Wonder-

Full of life, like the sky and the ocean....

Blue is my favorite emotion

Full of life, like the test with the lines

There were two,

They were blue,

And they gave my life some direction....

Blue is my favorite conception

Sharing school Online Journal

2010-04-29T18:52:00.000-07:00

Online Journal: Journal 11

April 26 - 30

Directions: Write a letter to the "you" of 10 years ago; don't tell that "you" what the future holds, but give that "you" advice about life and people, and how to conduct him- or herself.

After you write your journal entry, post it in ONLINE JOURNAL, and then "talk" to at least one other person about his or her journal entry. Submit this assignment in ATS by 11:59 PM on Friday.

P.S. Consider saving your letter for your child, or giving it your child, if your child is old enough to read and understand the letter. If you do not have a child, consider giving this letter to a young friend or relative who may benefit from the wisdom in the letter.Online Journal: Journal 11

Dear Jhene,

I know you may not believe this, but you are beautiful inside and out. Never let anyone or anything make you feel differently. No one is perfect, but guess what? No one is YOU either! You can't compare yourself to others, just be the best you that you can be. You have a lot to offer the world, but you have to believe in yourself when no one else does and stay focused. Although you know more than most of the kids your age, you still have a lot to learn as we all do.Don't be afraid of what you are capable of. Don't run from success. I know the world of dating is exciting at the tender age of 12, but take your time when it comes to boys. They mature a lot slower than us, so it may be better to wait a while before you get into anything too serious. I know you've been talking to your mom about being home schooled because you want to pursue your career in music and entertainment, but I think you should wait. I've heard that business is really tough, especially when you're a kid. You are extremely talented, but you are an excellent student as well. I think your dream will still be there after you have completed all of your schooling.

Me and you are a lot a like.You are very strong, but yet so sensitive. Be careful of who you let in to your heart. I know you love to please people, but understand that not all people have kind hearts. Continue on the path that you're on. I think that you know what you're doing. Continue to grow and reflect as you always have.I don't know it all, but I do know you are special. No matter what anyone tells you or how often you find yourself being misunderstood, do not change for anyone. I know you believe you can adapt to anyone and any situation, but stay true to yourself...always.

Love, Jhene :)

Join the CLUB!

2010-04-16T19:06:00.000-07:00

The BOOK CLUB that is :)

For all my people who enjoy reading, learning, and have open minds....I think this is a great idea for us to connect and grow together. We can read many different types of books, but I do want to focus on books that uplift, encourage and have positive messages :)

We can discuss each chapter together, weekly and share our thoughts on what we've read and how we agree or disagree with the author. We can talk about whatever! lol

My main hope is that we read books that are life changing....that by the end of the book, we can genuinely say we are better people :)

Ok, sooooo

The first book i want us ALL to read is by one of my favorite people on this planet, Thich Nhat Hanh. I have blogged about him before and have read 2 of his books already. I can honestly say that those 2 books have really changed me for the better.

The book I want to start with is "Teachings on Love". This book is 195 pages and should cost about 10 bucks.

Go ahead and google the book and the author and see if it's a book you'd be interested in. If you are, let me know when you get the book by commenting that you have in this post. Once we have a nice little group together, we can start!

can't wait :)

soooooo, yea

2010-04-11T03:31:00.000-07:00

This is what I do when I'm bored........... lol

IDEAS?

2010-04-02T19:53:00.000-07:00

What shall I write about next???? Suggestions??? :)

I live here now.

2010-02-25T01:35:00.000-08:00

Yesterday,

I took my head out of the clouds

to mingle with society

I found myself,

By myself

In my own little corner

Sitting quietly

THEY stared and thought

"She's such a loser"

I smiled back

and waved

I sipped some wine

I watched them laugh

I saw how they behaved

For a moment I thought,

"I shouldn't be here....

.....This isn't the place for me"

But then I realized....

"I'm exactly what,

a place...like THIS place... NEEDS"

So today,

I put on the clothes they wear,

I did my hair as so....

Disguised myself as one of them,

that way they'd never know

I learned the language,

learned their songs,

I don't dance,

but I learned there moves

I blended in so perfectly

I had everyone fooled

Although It killed me to ACT this way,

and be untrue to myself.....

I decided to stay

I HAVE to stay

Its the only way I can HELP

-the lotus.

Just for fun.....

2010-01-06T00:25:00.000-08:00

Back like I left something....

2009-12-30T23:50:00.000-08:00

Because everyday is a new day,

that we've never seen before

Every day is a new start.....

I know the beginning of the New Year is symbolic for most of us,

a time to change what needs to be changed and fix what needs to be fixed,

but really each and everyday we should have a resolution and work towards becoming better.

Another year has passed us by, and many of us are complaining about what DID not happen in our favor.

But I think we need to realize that we have already been blessed with favor because we are still alive to see a New

Year!

We have another CHANCE!

Infact, we are blessed with a new CHANCE everyday we wake up!

So, promise me this..... no more complaining, no more procrastinating, no more putting your time or energy into

people or situations that you KNOW are a waste....and trust me, you KNOW who and what are wastes!

Be safe, Be aware, Be Open MInded, UNDERSTAND and be thankful :)

-Love Always, Jhene :-*

Honestly....

2009-11-03T01:07:00.000-08:00

I turned off the light

Hoping I could see my thoughts more clearly

Without the light

I look in the mirror and see me more clearly

I am here in this moment

Listening to Nami breathe

Realizing Im not who I claim to be

I take pride in knowing my potential

Yet, take no initiative to fulfill all that I am capable of being and doing

God is said to be the Ground Of Being…..

I say He is the Ground Of Doing

Doing what is right…..

Doing what you want

In a respectful, righteous manner

I am currently what I do

And based on those things...

I am not the being I want to be

But I know my potential

Afraid of my potential?

Maybe

Or possibly

It’s afraid of me

And sometimes I say these things just to be poetic

Without believing a thing

A friend once told me, regarding poetry…

“Be as honest as possible”

In that moment

I realized

I couldnt be...

If so,

It wouldnt be me

And this is my first

Transitional piece

from lies to honesty

Honest Poetry .

...................

The Fire

2009-11-03T01:00:00.000-08:00

When I was in the second grade

My grandmother picked me up from school early

She told me something had happened to the house

The house that we had just moved in

With the big living room and bay window

Still undecorated…unfurnished

Not enough time to make too many memories

But in an instant we lost so many……..

Except I remember that’s where I learned to ride a bike

Without training wheels

Then rode it down the hill one day

And ran into a parked car!

And I had my own room…with a big closet

Id pretend it was a small restaurant and serve tea and cookies to my toys J

I thought it was a mansion….

I remember the garden out of a fairy tale

An old well with a tree growing from it

A small library and even a bar

Mommy’s room had carpet in the bathroom

I though that was strange

And an “Island kitchen”

I loved that name

The fire trucks

The charcoal smell

Waiting in the neighbors house

Thinking we’d be able to go back home

Still waiting in the neighbors house

Wondering….when we’d go back home

They saved all they could, but there wasn’t much

No clothes, no shoes, no toys

All baby pictures …….gone forever

But my sisters who were in the house that day

They were ok….

so it was ok

Maybe I was too young to realize the magnitude

Of all that was lost in the fire

The few memories we had made….

The numerous memorabilia that had been taken away

And all that was lost in the fire

My mother was so calm as I can remember

Our dream home gone before we could truly enjoy it

We moved into a hotel room

5 kids and 2 parents …. 1 hotel room

One new cotton sweat suit and pair of white shoes for the each of us

And through it all I remember being happy and seeing my mother smile

We lost it all in the fire

But still, all was not lost in the fire

(November 16, 2008)

Long Time!!

2009-10-22T17:07:00.000-07:00

Hope everyone is doing great!!

I am :)

Will be blogging more soon ...

Just wanted to say

Hi!

.....

2009-10-01T01:46:00.000-07:00

finally.

mutuality.

compatibility.

Happy.

Bye !

Peace Out

2009-09-05T04:00:00.000-07:00

Going back into my shell

Cuz out here it's like hell
- can't deal with all the faulty people and the lies they tell

So

Here's your cake.... 
But u can't eat it,
There's my heart....
But you can't beat it,
And You can keep it.
I don't need it....
Where I'm goin,We don't feel.....
We only think it.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

A Mother's Love

2009-09-02T13:51:00.000-07:00

(What's between the lines is really important in this one. Enjoy. Relate. Comment :)

Today I deleted your number from my phone
I planned to erase the memories,
'Til I realized there were none
I've BEEN use to your absence...
So It didn't make a difference,
So there's really nothing missin...

Ur not necessarily a necessity
And honestly,

I was doing YOU a favor

I can tell the whole world 
Of our disqualifications as a man
I can list hundreds before you

That have done what you can't

I can call u out by government name
And have u admitted

(cuz ur ass is insane!)

But that would mean I actually cared,
as if there were somethin we actually shared,
So, I'll leave u with

a prayer instead...

* A prayer for you:
And the others who....
Thrive on your misery

Blessed be your health,
Wishes for wealth,
And love for your self
You'll need it

The blood we share,

I'll bleed it

But you'll never have my tears
You'll never know my fears....

Cuz you never got to know me
After 21 years.

And in your darkest days
Maybe you'll ponder
You'll think of ur fuck ups...

Maybe you'll wonder

Or maybe you'll still be ignorant 
as the day you were born.

As for me,
I'll never be torn

U have to have a PLACE in a heart, 
In order to break it....
And for as long as I can remember,
That place has been vacant

Love alone is never enough
Unless ofcourse...its a Mother's Love

screw you for the confusion....thank you for the inspiration....

2009-08-30T14:54:00.001-07:00

so sue me!
for not being a mystery
wearing my heart on my sleeve,
and my thoughts in my speech
so hate me!
for being so free
and loving so hard
without hardly knowing a thing...
And take me to prison!
for giving benefits of doubt
and being transparent
turning inside to out
Just kill me!
For wanting
that someone or something
that I've been deserving
but I'm always hurting
Cuz I'm such a dumby
So SUE me!

2009-08-30T14:46:00.000-07:00

Love @ first fight...

when u told me you hate me,

and pushed me and shouted,

that no one would date me,

then threw me on the ground

and kissed me with passion

the ceiling was spinning,

the rugs left their rashes....

put it all in your hands

as I prayed for my life,

and I hated u that night

it was love @ first sight

*no, i have never been hit by a man before....

this is just a poem....*

2009-08-14T22:09:00.000-07:00

Here's a bitter/sweet story about a man....

2009-08-14T22:01:00.000-07:00

he met his soulmate over the internet.....

.fell in love with pictures and texts...

in love with a girl that may not even exist,

Whom he may never get to hold or kiss.

she'll always be something for him to miss.....

but @tleast for the moment what he feels is real

and he smiles and laughs and dreams of her

and writes songs he wishes to sing to her

and though she may be an imaginary friend

she made him feel alive again

Love is still Love,

EVEN when......

There's no one on the other end

True Story

CLOSE YOUR EYES....

2009-07-14T19:51:00.000-07:00

and walk outside

in the middle of the night

in the middle of the street

in the summer's heat

and just go.....

will u die?

survive?

nobody knows....

it won't make a difference

just keep ur eyes closed.

kinda funny

2009-07-01T00:50:00.001-07:00

........

2009-07-01T00:18:00.000-07:00

This is the realest shit I ever wrote....

"All of the "Greats" die lonely...becuz they never received from anyone...what they gave to the World... their all

And if tomorrow were my last day....
somebody better call me great."-j.Aiko

BAsically....

2009-06-30T14:55:00.000-07:00

I have a lot of pictures and I don't know what to do with them!!.... so, making and sharing slideshows seem like a good idea :)

THANKS PHOTOBUCKET!

Here are the pictures from the LAker Parade :)

OK SO>>>>

2009-06-30T14:35:00.000-07:00

My mom just gave me these pictures from about 3 YEARS AGO! lol... So I decided to share them with you :)

As some of you may know...I was home schooled or on "Independent Study" since my 7th Grade year....meaning I did not go to a traditional high school..... I went to City of Angels (indpt. study).

most Independent Study schools, (if any) do NOT have sports teams, clubs, dances, and all that other HIgh School stuff... therefore they don't have PROM either! BUT MY AMAZING MOTHER decided to put together a PROM just for ME for my last year in HIGH SCHOOL! it was great!

We took pictures had a karaoke party for our "after prom" and the whole nine! OUR OWN PERSONAL PROM!

and this is why my mom is the best :)

Here our some of the pictures...lol.

Just thought I'd share....

2009-06-16T19:12:00.000-07:00

Jhene Chilombo

Professor Leonard

English 102

3 June 2007

“I Shall Paint My Nails Red” by Carole Satyamurti and “The Secretary Chant” by Marge Piercy are two poems that reflect how women can feel unappreciated. These two poems explore the thoughts of two women who have let their jobs and nail polish define them. In “The Lesson” by Toni Cade Bambara, there is a woman who has benefitted from letting her surroundings define her and there is also a little girl who may or may not benefit from the older women and the lessons she teaches her. I was inspired by these two plays and short story to write a short story of my own about a women who lives a quiet life, but is still as important as any other women, as any other person....

She Is

She was hard to pick out of a crowd, never the life of any party. She didn't have the the long, flowing hair her mother had or the brains of her father. Breezed through college with As,Bs, and Cs, she never found use for her degree in business. She was a simple woman with a simple life. No brothers. No sisters. No aunts or uncles. One child. One cat. One deceased husband who she mourned for the first 5 years then proceeded on with her own life. She hardly wore makeup, but when she did it was the same burgundy lipstick and peach,Covergirl blush. The make up didn’t make her look any different. A woman of few words, her handful of friends call her a real class act, but strangers never noticed. She didn’t want recognition or fame for her accomplishments, and she never made me clean my room. She always smelled of lavender and vanilla, but you’d never know unless you got real close to her. When she laughed it was quiet and easy and when she cried there was no sound, just tears.

“She was a nice lady” a neighbor says after the pastor invites people up to speak. There would only be two other people after him. A sixty-year-old life and only 10 people at a funeral to say good-bye. Besides myself, most of them were strangers, I’d seen a couple only a few times in my entire life. No one really cried out loud, the service was only 46 minutes. Another life that came and went without many people noticing. Another woman who achieved life, but went without any praise or recognition. I stood before the small crowd and shed only a single tear. “She did not live her life out loud, but that does not mean she was not here. Because of her, I am, and because of me, she is.”

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TUPAC!!

2009-06-15T22:12:00.000-07:00

June 16th, 1971

THE WORLD'S GREATEST OF ALL TIME WAS BORN!!

He would have been 38 today...

This is the ONLY man I've ever been and will ever be a stone cold CRAZY FANATIC about.

Not only was Tupac an incredible rapper he was an amazing writer, poet, actor and philanthropist.

Its sorta strange to people when I tell them Mr. Shakur is my #1 inspiration, but in my opinion he is the epitome of an entertainer and activist! He had the charisma to draw you in, the talent to make you listen and the intelligence to teach you a thing or two! !!!

He was VERY misunderstood, but when you really dig into his career...his poetry....his books... he rivals with Einstein in MY OPINION!!

Worlds cant express how MAD I get when I realize I will never be able to meet him!! BUT I listen to him almost everyday and collect tons of Tupac memorabilia! lol

I can go on and on.... but I will end on this note:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TUPAC!! UR A TRUE INSPIRATION !!

T.H.U.G L.I.F.E !! (The Hate U Give Little Infants Fucks Everyone) !!!

"......I will spark the brain that will change the world......" -Tupac Shakur

(umm...can I nominate myself to be that person?!! lol)

iWrite

2009-06-11T18:10:00.000-07:00

Jhene Chilombo

Professor Bailey-Hoffman

English 127

10 September 2008

Genre Exercise

The text that I chose to change into another genre is the poem “Life is Fine” by Langston Hughes:

I went down to the river,

I set down on the bank.

I tried to think but couldn't,

So I jumped in and sank.

I came up once and hollered!

I came up twice and cried!

If that water hadn't a-been so cold

I might've sunk and died.

But it was Cold in that water! It was cold!

I took the elevator

Sixteen floors above the ground.

I thought about my baby

And thought I would jump down.

I stood there and I hollered!

I stood there and I cried!

If it hadn't a-been so high

I might've jumped and died.

But it was High up there! It was high!

So since I'm still here livin',

I guess I will live on.

I could've died for love--

But for livin' I was born

Though you may hear me holler,

And you may see me cry--

I'll be dogged, sweet baby,

If you gonna see me die.

Life is fine! Fine as wine! Life is fine!

I chose to change this poem into a short story with the same title and a similar message.

Life is Fine

It was very cold that day, even though the sun was shining. Sarah woke up sooner than she had planned. The empty bottle of sleeping pills and Tequila stared her in the face as she opened her eyes. She tried to force herself back to sleep, but the vomit rising in her throat wouldn’t allow it. With all the blinds drawn in her tiny apartment it was impossible to tell what time of day it was. Sarah could care less. “I wonder if I just lay here on my back while I throw up…choke on my own vomit like Jimi Hendrix...maybe that’ll work,” Sarah thought to herself. She chuckled at how crude she could be and the vomit succeeded. The phone rang and she stumbled towards the bathroom. It had probably been ringing all morning. Probably her mother calling to say “Happy Birthday.”

October 16^th, Sarah’s 27^th birthday and the day she would have liked to be her death day. “I’ve still got time,” she figured. Sarah looked at the hair dryer and then the tub thinking how poetic it would be to be found that way; lifeless in a warm bubble bath. But it wasn’t “bad ass” enough for her. She always considered herself to be a “bad ass”, a real rebel without a cause.

“Why would you give me such a boring name like, Sarah?” she asked her mother once when she was 16. She never thought Sarah was an edgy enough name for her. “Roxanne,” she said out loud as she stood and looked in the mirror, “I should have been a Roxanne.”

The phone rang again and this time she had a feeling it was him. The same “him” who the night before she’d caught having sex with her best friend. She couldn’t allow herself to answer the phone. She swore she would never be like her mother and let a man like her father run over her and ultimately ruin her entire existence. “They all leave eventually,” Sarah thought to her self the night before as she swallowed the poisons that were to end her so-called misery. He had been the father she never wanted, but always needed. And she had given in to love, in which she always thought to be a lie.

The little piece of paper that would have been her last testimony to her family and friends was neatly folded at the end of her bed. Sarah couldn’t understand why her attempt had failed, “A fucking waste of paper,” she said to herself. She opened up the note:

To whom it may concern,

This will be the last time I cry; the last time I put my all into a lie.

I cant take the pain of a love lost…a love never had….the story of my life.

Goodbye.

She laughed out loud. “What a fucking maniac I am!” As she looked down at her ring finger where the engagement ring he had given her had been, she wondered what she had done with it in her drunken state the night before. Her eyes began to tear. In her little apartment with vomit all over her bed spread on her 27^th birthday, she was alone. She walked to the kitchen to grab a knife. “I’ve seen this in a movie once…it’s a sure thing,” she thought. Upon opening up the silverware drawer she saw that there were no clean knives. “FUCK!” she screamed. It wasn’t suppose to be this hard to kill yourself. If only she had gotten her firearm license like she had planned, she could have shot herself and went out in true “bad ass” fashion. She had planned on buying a gun, she had planned on getting a skull tattoo on her breast and she had planned on skydiving one day. But Sarah never got around to any of those things. Instead she lead a very safe life. Sarah was just a “Sarah” .Not quite the rebel she thought she was. And maybe that was the reason she was alive today.

As she lay on the cold kitchen floor she suddenly felt awake. She was alive. She was suppose to be dead today, but she was alive! Her doorbell rang. “Great,” she said. “Happy Birthday my love,” her mother sang, bursting through the door. “Well! It looks like you celebrated early huh?!” Sarah ran to the toilet to dispose of what would be the last of her vomit. “My dear! Its 3pm! Open these blinds and lets get the day started!” Sarah wiped the throw up from her mouth and sat on the edge of her bed. “Looks like you’ve had a rough night,” her mother laughed. Sarah just looked at her and couldn’t help but smile. She paused for a moment to decide whether or not she’d tell her mom about all that had happened the night before. Perhaps she’d show her the suicide note, or explain what she had been through the previous night. But instead, she smiled and didn’t say a word.

She stood up to open the blinds as her mother had ordered. Sarah listened as her mother talked loudly about something Sarah was obviously not paying attention to. As she looked out the window she realized, even though it was cold that day…the sun was shining and her life was just fine.

I LOVE Zoe....

2009-06-07T22:35:00.000-07:00

“ON HER OWN SEXY CONFIDENCE:”

“Look at me. I’m skinny, I have a big nose, no tits and no ass, but in a room full of beautiful women, I would still leave with the most gorgeous guy.”
Couldnt have said it better myself :)

Note to self

2009-06-05T23:11:00.000-07:00

IT GETS WAAAAY WORSE, before it gets ANY better.

just take a deep breath, bear it...and smile.

we're gonna get through this :)

Sayonara ;)

2am

2009-06-04T01:37:00.000-07:00

I want to smile @ Strangers

and laugh w/ Danger

Befriend and put an end to Anger...

Break the chains,

and chase away Doubt

Run nude around the city and shout...

"FREE LOVE!"

Its being held captive by

The thieves of.....

Compassion

And they want a Ransom

But Im not understandin

Cuz ALL LOVE is FREE LOVE

in its truest Fashion!

And If you're gonna LOVE

I mean, really, TRULY LOVE...

than you gotta BE LOVE,

BE FREE, LOVE!

FREE LOVE!

~The Lotus

My fellow Genius Pisces said...

2009-06-03T02:14:00.000-07:00

"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. "

-Albert Einstein

(i LOVE him!)

ok, goodnight 4real this time! :-)

The Chilombos....

2009-06-03T01:30:00.000-07:00

We're so Chill

IT'S UNREAL!

nighty night.

!

2009-06-03T01:05:00.000-07:00

:-/

Now, I understand...

2009-06-02T22:26:00.000-07:00

I'm not a morning person....

I'm not a day person...

and lately

I'm not a night person either

I'm beginning to think...

I'm not a person @ all

I got the Juice NOW Homie.... lol

2009-05-31T12:32:00.001-07:00

I Love this Scene

"I am crazy....but u kno wat else?? I don't give a fuck"

lol . Classic.

NOTHING is Original....

2009-05-29T18:56:00.000-07:00

I hope ur listening....

2009-05-29T13:33:00.000-07:00

because I'm only talking to you....

I'm such a fair person.... so should I just let someone else experience the joy of getting what they want....

Since I never get what I want.... hmmmm??? @tleast SOMEONE will be happy.....right?

I mean, not that I'm NOT happy..... I've learned to be content with whatever I have and/or don't have.....

Anyways, I hope you keep talking..... cuz I'm the only one listening.

Twitter me this...

2009-05-28T00:55:00.001-07:00

Latest: A Wise man once told me,

"Like the people, Who like you"

Sure the thrill of the chase is fun,

But when u find 'em,

You won't have 2 chase The ONE.

3 minutes ago

CONGRATS!....

2009-05-27T00:36:00.000-07:00

TO ADRIANA LIMA!!! The most beautiful model...(in my opinion....no homo..lol) has confirmed that she is PREGNANT!

She'll be joining the MILF CLUB soon!! YAY!

One more thing b4 i go to sleep....

2009-05-26T02:51:00.003-07:00

& When I cant sleep....

2009-05-26T02:41:00.001-07:00

I think of that one time

it was you,

and me.

and then you,

then I,

and we...

Remember?

good.night

MILOSH

2009-05-26T00:48:00.000-07:00

This is one of those songs I put on repeat and fall asleep to...and wake up to

Makes me want to fall in love....lol.

THIS is a perfect song... may not be what ur into....but I freakin LOVE IT! :)

2009-05-24T16:05:00.000-07:00

2009-05-23T00:29:00.000-07:00

Please Excuse my French

2009-05-22T19:11:00.000-07:00

And everytime I tell myself, I'll give u a chance to do the right thing....u go a head and fuck it up.

Wats more pathetic than a man w/out a plan? A girl who thinks She can change him

..........

Id rather die alone and in the cold,

Than die in the bed with a man and all the lies he's told

FML?

FYL!

(its not that ur a bad person....ur just not good for me)

Sigh.

Happy Friday

(so I decided to just keep some key points and erase all the other stuff, since I'm getting hate mail from "anonymous" people...lol.)

But thanks for the kind words to everyone who got to read the full version :)

Live and let Live

Get what u give....

and Karma?

Yea, she's a bitch.....

So, Watch ya self kids ;)

2009-05-21T16:47:00.000-07:00

Today I've reached my boiling point......

2009-05-21T15:05:00.000-07:00

& by the end of the day,

I will make some big decisions

& I vow not to regret ANYTHING I'm about to do

TUNNEL VISION

peace :-*

2009-05-20T11:02:00.000-07:00

Whatever u want it to mean :)

2009-05-20T04:13:00.000-07:00

life is way too short to play games and be fake.

thats why I do what I feel in the moment

and Im never afraid to make a mistake

and im never afraid to feel what Im feeling

and Im never stingy with my love and affection

I'll be a Loser

I'll take that L

I'll be an L7...lol (if ur slow, thats a square)

I'll tell you "I Love You" if I feel like I love you

Y do I have to be crazy because I feel like

I love you

You must not know what that statement means....

Its not that deep...or serious (Puh- Leeeaase!)

I didnt say I wanna marry you, or die with u, or anything!!

I didnt even say anything!

ChillOut!

Cuz i'm Chill now

(meaning, "im cool" "im good" "no thank u")

I'm not crazy

Ur crazy

I dont feel like writing right now....

2009-05-19T17:49:00.000-07:00

So here:

2009-05-19T03:05:00.000-07:00

NOW SEE >>>>

2009-05-18T12:54:00.000-07:00

I'm not into cars and clothes, material things or name brand anything..... but THIS my friends .... is a BEAUTY!!

Sorta reminds me of myself....very small, not too flashy, very classy....lmao

Check out these links for the specs and more photos :) http://www.rsportscars.com/mercedes-benz/2009-gullwing-america-300sl-panamericana/

http://www.thecoolhunter.net/transportation/2009-Gullwing-America-300-SL-Panamericana/

Sorry :-/

2009-05-18T11:49:00.000-07:00

....I havent been twittering, facebooking or blogging much :-/

There's this NEW Social Network I've been on..

its HIGHLY ADDICTIVE...

And lately its been putting all these other sites to SHAME!

Its FREE to join and SO easy to use!

THERE are BILLIONS upon BILLIONS of PEOPLE ALREADY USING IT!!

Its called "Real Life"!!!!

All you have to do is WAKE UP...and WAH-LAH! YOU'RE SIGNED IN!!

The best part about this site is that u get to see how people REALLY look AND act in PERSON!

ANNNND no one steals MY identity and pretends to be me! Its AWESOME!!

"GET A LIFE" AND SIGN UP TODAY!!

(so the next time someone asks "Do u have a Twitter?" or "Do you have a Facebook?"...you can say..."Do you have a LIFE?!" )

lol

Being Peace

2009-05-13T16:19:00.000-07:00

I always try to be a peaceful, positive person,...but just like

everyone else I am only human and I let situations and

people get the best of me. I sometimes lose focus on who I

aspire to be and feed into the negativity. Its an everyday

battle, but when I feel rage taking over... when I 'm afraid of

the future....when I'm nervous...when I'm sad....and even

when I am happy....I close my eyes, listen to my breath....

and say this in my mind, an excerpt from "Being Peace":

"Breathing in, I calm my body

Breathing out, I smile

Dwelling in the present moment

I know this is a wonderful moment"

It REALLY HELPS! :)

THIS MAN...

2009-05-13T15:58:00.000-07:00

IS A TRUUUEEE INSPIRATION! He spits that wisdom!! lol. I strive to be even a little bit on his level. He is AMAZING!......

His name is Thich Nhat Hahn

Often referred to as the most beloved Buddhist teacher in the West, Thich Nhat Hanh's teachings and practices appeal to people from various religious, spiritual, and political backgrounds. Nhat Hanh offers a practice of "mindfulness" that is beneficial for people of all faiths, by helping us resist and transform the speed and violence of our modern society. His life and teachings have deeply influenced millions of people, including scores of luminaries in different fields: politician Jerry Brown, civil rights champion Martin Luther King, Jr., eco-activist Joanna Macy, and Catholic mystic Thomas Merton - to name a few.

GOOGLE HIM! I will be posting my favorite excerpts from the books of his that I own so that you can get he just of what he talks about AND benefit from his teachings without spending money on his books....but I would HIGHLY recommend you get yourself copies! :) These are the three that I've read so far...he has a lot more tho!

Breathe YOU!

2009-05-13T15:21:00.000-07:00

Someone made this on youtube for the song I made on Garageband! lol....I think its pretty cool :) WHat do you think?!

2009-05-11T03:33:00.001-07:00

2009-05-10T21:50:00.000-07:00

2009-05-09T09:21:00.000-07:00

Soooo.....

2009-05-09T00:45:00.000-07:00

living in the moment... i have no fears...

I'm just happy u were there

and I was here....

You ever feel so ALIVE,

U WANNA CRY?!

And so satisfied...

u wanna die?!

Has reality ever out done your dreams?

Has the lite ever shined so brightly,

u cant see a thing?

everything isnt always...what it seems

and I don't always say...what I mean

:) & :-*

truth is....

2009-05-08T03:03:00.000-07:00

I can't sleep because I've finally found my soulmate

I can't imagine have waited any longer to see her face

and look into my own eyes

and grab my own feet

a tiny version of me!

(now thats got to be tiny!!!)

this isnt really a poem

more like a confession...

"I'm in LOVE with the LOVE that was once inside of me"

And if you think there's anything better than this,

you've got life completely twisted!

Im no insomniac...I'm a Namiac!

lol

I can't sleep because I don't wanna miss a beat

(in plus she's just so SWEET when she sleeps!)

And she looks just like MY MOMMY when she sleeps :)

Even snores like her too....

So it all comes full circle and puts me at peace

(because I use to love sleeping in the bed with my Mommy.....so this is the next best thing :) Or an even better thing because she is ME! AND MY MOMMY!)

I repeat

Im no insomniac...I'm a Namiac!

lol

ok,ok....im finally gonna go to sleep!!

2009-05-08T02:22:00.000-07:00

Just a thought...

2009-05-08T02:05:00.000-07:00

Until you become a parent (of a baby girl in particular).... things like this don't bother you.

But when u have a daughter of your own...be it you're her mother or father (ESPECIALLY father).... this has to be a whole other level of dissapointment. smh.

All my parents out there...imagine if one of these girls was ur daughter.....

If ur not a parent....u probably can't understand and this post is not for u! But just like my mother use to tell me..."Wait and see...."!!!

And be it that most of us plan on being mothers and fathers one day, and some of us already are.....make wise decisions ladies and gentleman. There's never an excuse for stupidity (unless ofcourse you have a learning disability....and if thats the case...I'm not talking to u) lol.

goodnight.

2009-05-07T04:50:00.000-07:00

Who I am....

Who I THINK I am....
And who I WANT to be.....

All look the same to you?

Well, they're all quite different to me.....

Remember THESE?!

2009-05-07T04:43:00.000-07:00

WE HAD A COUPLE OF THESE GROWING UP.....

SO CUTE! LOL

I'm just saying....

2009-05-07T04:32:00.000-07:00

It is impossible to be fully engaged in the PRESENT moment, when

you are constantly thinking about the yesterdays and

tomorrows.....living in regret, living in fear, living in

hope.........when you NEED to be living NOW.... this very second,the

one you are in........breathe in it, smile at it, and be thankful for

it........it's all u have.........

Do not be scared of the unknown

Make friends with it

If you are scared of the unknown

You are scared of life

And if you are scared of life

You aren't truly living

To achieve eternal life, you must live everyday helping others and

being the best person you can be to those you encounter....in this

way, you will affect others lives so tremendously, that even after

you are gone, they will take you with them,and keep your memory alive

for the remainder of their lives....and so on,and so forth

10 second poems....

2009-05-07T04:30:00.000-07:00

Everything comes,everything goes,

Everything fast...eventually slows

What comes up, it must come down,

And what goes down, comes back around

Nothing is... or ....everything isnt

Love can't be love..... until it is given

There is no stop...... there is no begin

Life just is.....there is no end

"Here to serve and protect"

-Guardian Girl™

.....

2009-05-06T13:28:00.000-07:00

Give in,

Pretend.

Let go,

Let in.

Let down...

Again.

Fed up,

Descend.

Give up…

The end.

THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME!

2009-05-04T18:05:00.000-07:00

I LOVE LOVE LOOOOOVE THIS MAN!!

2009-05-03T02:47:00.000-07:00

Am I the only girl, who’s not into fashion?

Louis and Gucci

and things of that fashion.....?

Am I weird because I never say things like

“music is my boyfriend” ?

Am I wrong for not wearing neon nail polish

and being completely in LOVE with SILENCE!

Is it strange of me to be infatuated with myself? lol

Am I the only one who’s addicted to going to Target?

I think I’m the only girl who doesnt pay attention to what type of shoes or clothes a guy is wearinng......?

Like, whats that have to do with ANYTHING?!

Why does my reflection look different to me everytime I look in the mirror?!

Am I the only person who doesnt like the way smoking weed makes me feel?

Am I crazy for being so excited about being alive that I can’t even sleep @ night?

Goodmorning or Goodnight :)

Josh Keyes.....Very Cool Artist

2009-05-03T01:28:00.000-07:00

I wish I could draw and paint like this!! JEEAAAALOUS! lol.

MY FAVORITE!

AMAZING!!! Now THIS is what I call pure talent and creativity! http://www.joshkeyes.net/paintings.htm

Another one...

2009-05-03T00:53:00.000-07:00

Why do we question things we'll never know?

And complicate things that are soo simple?

Life is made for living, not figuring out

No one knows the truth, cause they don't consider....IT ALL IS.

So busy trying to prove points.... converting and convincing,

But what needs to be taking place, is more listening

Cuz its ALL connected ...and its ALL legit

If you don't kno that...

you don't kno shit.

One of my favorite songs...

2009-05-03T00:47:00.000-07:00

Funny video tho...lol

And if no one told you today.....

2009-04-30T17:45:00.000-07:00

Nami's Haiku

2009-04-30T17:34:00.000-07:00

I had to write a haiku in my English 127 class.....here it is....

Daughter of the wave

Crashes against the shore and

Carries me away

(November 15, 2008)

More from Mayer....

2009-04-30T17:15:00.000-07:00

I Like sex and I'm good @ it. lol

I'm Late, but whatever.....I Love Him

JOHN MAYER SAYS>>>

2009-04-30T17:12:00.000-07:00

"Show yourself.

Be yourself.
Enjoy yourself.
Play hard, so that you are in debt to yourself,
so that you must then work hard to repay it.
You're not better than anybody else,
but NOBODY is better than you.
Can't dance? SAYS WHO?

And when you've returned to dry land,
back into your roles,
where the world tells you what to do again,
right before you start doing it,
you'll smirk and think to yourself
"That was big, big, fun."

The word "fans" doesn't cut it.
Thanks for one of the best times of my life. "

Love
John

Hmmm, I love him!!

HE'S SO DOPE

2009-04-30T17:01:00.000-07:00

Cant wait for this album.....

This is y I don't need a gun.......

2009-04-30T01:53:00.000-07:00

im not the violent type...more like

sit back and just stay silent, right?

reading every word she typed

and all of ur replies

then smile in your face and bite my tongue......

BUT....if I had a gun....

id duck tape ur mouth shut, tie u up....

put the metal to ur temple and read each symbol

pull up every single photo, from each dumb bimbo

and laugh at your fear, rejoice in your tears

i'd have so much fun...if i had a gun

Id never kill you, its pointless

you'll suffer more here...im sure of this

ALICE IN WONDERLAND 2010!!

2009-04-30T00:52:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty excited about this remake being that Alice in Wonderland is one of my favorite movies! and Johnny Depp AS the Mad Hatter?!

.... I LOVE HIM!!!

This is who will be playing Alice....hmm :-/ They should have casted ME! LOL

2009-04-30T00:42:00.000-07:00

On my way home…10.25.08

Nights are colder,

days seem longer…

Pray it only makes her stronger.

Stopping at green lights,

going on red…

Mourning the living,

envy the dead.

Crying in silence,

thinking out loud,…

Falling up the ladder,

growing into a child.

More suffering and pain.

the greater she became…

Discover the meaning,

for the first time…

Again.

2009-04-30T00:38:00.000-07:00

This is pretty COOL! I like the song too :)

Firekites - AUTUMN STORY - chalk animation from Lucinda Schreiber on Vimeo.

When one POEM leads to another & another & another...

2009-04-29T01:22:00.000-07:00

"I'm skeptical u could, yet Intrigued that u may."

And sometimes its like...

Ur only "the one" cuz ur the only one here.....

Convieniently in love,

cuz ur the only one near..... My greatest fear? Is that It doesn't get any better,

like I'm searching for the address to an anonymous letter.... Can I be the one...for someone, who is done being young?

Is there a such thing,as that scene in my dreams? When he's the king and I'm the queen....

I do the dishes and he mows the lawn...

He goes to work and I stay at home.

Old Fashion Love, u kno? And sometimes I think....

its not meant to be

Cuz I feel complete...

when its just me...

And so It seems the man in my dreams... is still in love, Feels like I'm stealin love, Like a villain Love

Cause he's real in love,

And I know the feeling...

I just wish it was me

I miss being me

Ms. Always be free!

Who laughed til it hurt

And always found peace

I miss that smile

That sparkle in my eye

The voice that said "it'll be alright" when I cried

I miss being free!

Ms. Always be ME,

Has died

It was just a kiss,

Just mouth and lips

Just grasp of hips

And chest against tits

Just tongue and spit

And biting a bit

A moment of bliss

A kiss.....

(Written: 4-27-09)

RANDOM (adjective)

2009-04-29T01:07:00.000-07:00

Unmethodical, arbitrary, unplanned, undirected,nonspecific, stray, accidental.....

Im so effing RANDOM!

With SO much to post....I'm feeling overwhelmed, but this is only the first night, so I'm gonna take it easy and just post a few more things that I already have written. I write everyday...so I'll pick and chose when to post my different poems and things of that nature. AND PLEASE, do not be confused by my RANDOM-NESS.

I just wanna share me...with you...and hopefully inspire...something or someone. I promise not to bore you...and if I do...that probably just means you're boring . hahaha. blah blah blah :)

OUCH!!

2009-04-29T01:04:00.000-07:00

Looks like it hurts!

Cool pic tho :)

I have so many poems to post...plenty where this came from...

2009-04-29T00:47:00.000-07:00

Love is Lonely….ONLY…. if ur in it alone

Passion IS LOVE….that can’t be controlled

Who doesn’t LOVE love

Who doesn’t love LOVE?

In its truest form…

It has no form or formula

It don’t make sense…it can’t make cents

It just transmits

& That’s just it.

(February 20,2009)

LOVE U.

2009-04-28T22:52:00.000-07:00

Don't stand in the mirror to fix yourself ,

look in the mirror to admire yourself & love yourself .

The more critiquing you do , the more frustrated you'll become ,

because those flaws you think you see arent gonna go away ,

so instead of looking in the mirror for vanity ...

look in the mirror to enjoy seeing life

in your eyes ,

look in the mirror to tell yourself

' i love you '.. hug yourself.

dance around in a circle & smile at yourself..

look in the mirror and

LOVE YOURSELF

I AM a Lotus Blossom.

2009-04-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

*Meaning of the Lotus Flower*

The Lotus Flower symbolizes purity and divine birth. The unfolding flower embodies the endless ocean of creation.

Because it has buds, blossoms and seed pods simultaneously on the same plant, it represents the past, present and future.

These are my thoughts....as erratic as I am.

WELCOME

the lotus blossom .

A Short Ode to Blue.....

Sharing school Online Journal

Join the CLUB!

soooooo, yea

IDEAS?

I live here now.

Just for fun.....

Back like I left something....

Honestly....

The Fire

Long Time!!

.....

Peace Out

A Mother's Love

screw you for the confusion....thank you for the inspiration....

Here's a bitter/sweet story about a man....

CLOSE YOUR EYES....

kinda funny

........

BAsically....

OK SO>>>>

Just thought I'd share....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TUPAC!!

iWrite

I LOVE Zoe....

*Note to self*

2am

My fellow Genius Pisces said...

The Chilombos....

!

Now, I understand...

I got the Juice NOW Homie.... lol

NOTHING is Original....

I hope ur listening....

Twitter me this...

CONGRATS!....

One more thing b4 i go to sleep....

& When I cant sleep....

MILOSH

Please Excuse my French

Today I've reached my boiling point......

Whatever u want it to mean :)

I dont feel like writing right now....

NOW SEE >>>>

Sorry :-/

Being Peace

THIS MAN...

Breathe YOU!

Soooo.....

truth is....

Just a thought...

Remember THESE?!

I'm just saying....

10 second poems....

.....

THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME!

Josh Keyes.....Very Cool Artist

Another one...

One of my favorite songs...

And if no one told you today.....

Nami's Haiku

More from Mayer....

JOHN MAYER SAYS>>>

HE'S SO DOPE

This is y I don't need a gun.......

ALICE IN WONDERLAND 2010!!

When one POEM leads to another & another & another...

RANDOM (adjective)

OUCH!!

I have so many poems to post...plenty where this came from...

LOVE U.

I AM a Lotus Blossom.

Note to self