Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Honestly....


I turned off the light

Hoping I could see my thoughts more clearly

Without the light

I look in the mirror and see me more clearly

I am here in this moment

Listening to Nami breathe

Realizing Im not who I claim to be

I take pride in knowing  my potential

Yet, take no initiative to fulfill all that I am capable of being and doing

God is said to be the Ground Of Being…..

I say He is the Ground Of Doing

Doing what is right…..

Doing what you want

In a respectful, righteous manner

I am currently what I do

And based on those things...

I am not the being I want to be

But I know my potential

Afraid of my potential?

Maybe

Or possibly

It’s afraid of me

And sometimes I say these things just to be poetic

Without believing a thing

A friend once told me, regarding poetry…

“Be as  honest as possible”

In that moment

I realized

I couldnt be...

If so, 

It wouldnt be me


And this is my first

Transitional piece

from lies to honesty

Honest Poetry .

...................

The Fire



 

When I was in the second grade

My grandmother picked me up from school early

She told me something had happened to the house

The house that we had just moved in

With the big living room and bay window

Still undecorated…unfurnished

Not enough time to make too many memories

But in an instant we lost so many……..

Except I remember that’s where I learned to ride a bike

Without training wheels

Then rode it down the hill one day

And ran into a parked car!

And I had my own room…with a big closet

Id pretend it was a small restaurant and serve tea and cookies to my toys J

I thought it was a mansion….

I remember the garden out of a fairy tale

An old well with a tree growing from it

A small library and even a bar

Mommy’s room had carpet in the bathroom

I though that was strange

And an “Island kitchen”

I loved that name

The fire trucks

The charcoal smell

Waiting in the neighbors house

Thinking we’d be able to go back home

Still waiting in the neighbors house

Wondering….when we’d go back home

 

 

They saved all they could, but there wasn’t much

No clothes, no shoes, no toys

All baby pictures …….gone forever

But my sisters who were in the house that day

They were ok….

so it was ok

Maybe I was too young to realize the magnitude

Of all that was lost in the fire

The few memories we had made….

The numerous memorabilia that had been taken away

 And all that was lost in the fire

My mother was so calm as I can remember

Our dream home gone before we could truly enjoy it

We moved into a hotel room

5 kids and 2 parents …. 1 hotel room

One new cotton sweat suit and pair of white shoes for the each of us

And through it all I remember being happy  and seeing my mother smile

We lost it all in the fire

But still, all was not lost in the fire

 

(November 16, 2008)