Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 11:50 PM
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
I turned off the light
Hoping I could see my thoughts more clearly
Without the light
I look in the mirror and see me more clearly
I am here in this moment
Listening to Nami breathe
Realizing Im not who I claim to be
I take pride in knowing my potential
Yet, take no initiative to fulfill all that I am capable of being and doing
God is said to be the Ground Of Being…..
I say He is the Ground Of Doing
Doing what is right…..
Doing what you want
In a respectful, righteous manner
I am currently what I do
And based on those things...
I am not the being I want to be
But I know my potential
Afraid of my potential?
It’s afraid of me
And sometimes I say these things just to be poetic
Without believing a thing
A friend once told me, regarding poetry…
“Be as honest as possible”
In that moment
I couldnt be...
It wouldnt be me
And this is my first
And this is my first
from lies to honesty
Honest Poetry .
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 1:07 AM
When I was in the second grade
My grandmother picked me up from school early
She told me something had happened to the house
The house that we had just moved in
With the big living room and bay window
Not enough time to make too many memories
But in an instant we lost so many……..
Except I remember that’s where I learned to ride a bike
Without training wheels
Then rode it down the hill one day
And ran into a parked car!
And I had my own room…with a big closet
Id pretend it was a small restaurant and serve tea and cookies to my toys J
I thought it was a mansion….
I remember the garden out of a fairy tale
An old well with a tree growing from it
A small library and even a bar
Mommy’s room had carpet in the bathroom
I though that was strange
And an “Island kitchen”
I loved that name
The fire trucks
The charcoal smell
Waiting in the neighbors house
Thinking we’d be able to go back home
Still waiting in the neighbors house
Wondering….when we’d go back home
They saved all they could, but there wasn’t much
No clothes, no shoes, no toys
All baby pictures …….gone forever
But my sisters who were in the house that day
They were ok….
so it was ok
Maybe I was too young to realize the magnitude
Of all that was lost in the fire
The few memories we had made….
The numerous memorabilia that had been taken away
And all that was lost in the fire
My mother was so calm as I can remember
Our dream home gone before we could truly enjoy it
We moved into a hotel room
5 kids and 2 parents …. 1 hotel room
One new cotton sweat suit and pair of white shoes for the each of us
And through it all I remember being happy and seeing my mother smile
We lost it all in the fire
But still, all was not lost in the fire
(November 16, 2008)
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 1:00 AM
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Hope everyone is doing great!!
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 5:07 PM
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
(What's between the lines is really important in this one. Enjoy. Relate. Comment :)
Today I deleted your number from my phone
I planned to erase the memories,
'Til I realized there were none
I've BEEN use to your absence...
So It didn't make a difference,
So there's really nothing missin...
Ur not necessarily a necessity
I was doing YOU a favor
I can tell the whole world
Of our disqualifications as a man
I can list hundreds before you
That have done what you can't
I can call u out by government name
And have u admitted
(cuz ur ass is insane!)
But that would mean I actually cared,
as if there were somethin we actually shared,
So, I'll leave u with
a prayer instead...
* A prayer for you:
And the others who....
Thrive on your misery
Blessed be your health,
Wishes for wealth,
And love for your self
You'll need it
The blood we share,
I'll bleed it
But you'll never have my tears
You'll never know my fears....
Cuz you never got to know me
After 21 years.
And in your darkest days
Maybe you'll ponder
You'll think of ur fuck ups...
Maybe you'll wonder
Or maybe you'll still be ignorant
as the day you were born.
As for me,
I'll never be torn
U have to have a PLACE in a heart,
In order to break it....
And for as long as I can remember,
That place has been vacant
Love alone is never enough
Unless ofcourse...its a Mother's Love
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 1:51 PM
Sunday, August 30, 2009
so sue me!
for not being a mystery
wearing my heart on my sleeve,
and my thoughts in my speech
so hate me!
for being so free
and loving so hard
without hardly knowing a thing...
And take me to prison!
for giving benefits of doubt
and being transparent
turning inside to out
Just kill me!
that someone or something
that I've been deserving
but I'm always hurting
Cuz I'm such a dumby
So SUE me!
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 2:54 PM
Love @ first fight...
when u told me you hate me,
and pushed me and shouted,
that no one would date me,
then threw me on the ground
and kissed me with passion
the ceiling was spinning,
the rugs left their rashes....
put it all in your hands
as I prayed for my life,
and I hated u that night
it was love @ first sight
*no, i have never been hit by a man before....
this is just a poem....*
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 2:46 PM
Friday, August 14, 2009
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 10:09 PM
he met his soulmate over the internet.....
.fell in love with pictures and texts...
in love with a girl that may not even exist,
Whom he may never get to hold or kiss.
she'll always be something for him to miss.....
but @tleast for the moment what he feels is real
and he smiles and laughs and dreams of her
and writes songs he wishes to sing to her
and though she may be an imaginary friend
she made him feel alive again
Love is still Love,
There's no one on the other end
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 10:01 PM
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 7:51 PM
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
This is the realest shit I ever wrote....
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 12:18 AM
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
I have a lot of pictures and I don't know what to do with them!!.... so, making and sharing slideshows seem like a good idea :)
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 2:55 PM
My mom just gave me these pictures from about 3 YEARS AGO! lol... So I decided to share them with you :)
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 2:35 PM
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
3 June 2007
“I Shall Paint My Nails Red” by Carole Satyamurti and “The Secretary Chant” by Marge Piercy are two poems that reflect how women can feel unappreciated. These two poems explore the thoughts of two women who have let their jobs and nail polish define them. In “The Lesson” by Toni Cade Bambara, there is a woman who has benefitted from letting her surroundings define her and there is also a little girl who may or may not benefit from the older women and the lessons she teaches her. I was inspired by these two plays and short story to write a short story of my own about a women who lives a quiet life, but is still as important as any other women, as any other person....
She was hard to pick out of a crowd, never the life of any party. She didn't have the the long, flowing hair her mother had or the brains of her father. Breezed through college with As,Bs, and Cs, she never found use for her degree in business. She was a simple woman with a simple life. No brothers. No sisters. No aunts or uncles. One child. One cat. One deceased husband who she mourned for the first 5 years then proceeded on with her own life. She hardly wore makeup, but when she did it was the same burgundy lipstick and peach,Covergirl blush. The make up didn’t make her look any different. A woman of few words, her handful of friends call her a real class act, but strangers never noticed. She didn’t want recognition or fame for her accomplishments, and she never made me clean my room. She always smelled of lavender and vanilla, but you’d never know unless you got real close to her. When she laughed it was quiet and easy and when she cried there was no sound, just tears.
“She was a nice lady” a neighbor says after the pastor invites people up to speak. There would only be two other people after him. A sixty-year-old life and only 10 people at a funeral to say good-bye. Besides myself, most of them were strangers, I’d seen a couple only a few times in my entire life. No one really cried out loud, the service was only 46 minutes. Another life that came and went without many people noticing. Another woman who achieved life, but went without any praise or recognition. I stood before the small crowd and shed only a single tear. “She did not live her life out loud, but that does not mean she was not here. Because of her, I am, and because of me, she is.”
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 7:12 PM
Monday, June 15, 2009
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 10:12 PM
Thursday, June 11, 2009
10 September 2008
The text that I chose to change into another genre is the poem “Life is Fine” by Langston Hughes:
I went down to the river,
I set down on the bank.
I tried to think but couldn't,
So I jumped in and sank.
I came up once and hollered!
I came up twice and cried!
If that water hadn't a-been so cold
I might've sunk and died.
But it was Cold in that water! It was cold!
I took the elevator
Sixteen floors above the ground.
I thought about my baby
And thought I would jump down.
I stood there and I hollered!
I stood there and I cried!
If it hadn't a-been so high
I might've jumped and died.
But it was High up there! It was high!
So since I'm still here livin',
I guess I will live on.
I could've died for love--
But for livin' I was born
Though you may hear me holler,
And you may see me cry--
I'll be dogged, sweet baby,
If you gonna see me die.
Life is fine! Fine as wine! Life is fine!
I chose to change this poem into a short story with the same title and a similar message.
Life is Fine
Life is Fine
It was very cold that day, even though the sun was shining. Sarah woke up sooner than she had planned. The empty bottle of sleeping pills and Tequila stared her in the face as she opened her eyes. She tried to force herself back to sleep, but the vomit rising in her throat wouldn’t allow it. With all the blinds drawn in her tiny apartment it was impossible to tell what time of day it was. Sarah could care less. “I wonder if I just lay here on my back while I throw up…choke on my own vomit like Jimi Hendrix...maybe that’ll work,” Sarah thought to herself. She chuckled at how crude she could be and the vomit succeeded. The phone rang and she stumbled towards the bathroom. It had probably been ringing all morning. Probably her mother calling to say “Happy Birthday.”
October 16th, Sarah’s 27th birthday and the day she would have liked to be her death day. “I’ve still got time,” she figured. Sarah looked at the hair dryer and then the tub thinking how poetic it would be to be found that way; lifeless in a warm bubble bath. But it wasn’t “bad ass” enough for her. She always considered herself to be a “bad ass”, a real rebel without a cause.
“Why would you give me such a boring name like, Sarah?” she asked her mother once when she was 16. She never thought Sarah was an edgy enough name for her. “Roxanne,” she said out loud as she stood and looked in the mirror, “I should have been a Roxanne.”
The phone rang again and this time she had a feeling it was him. The same “him” who the night before she’d caught having sex with her best friend. She couldn’t allow herself to answer the phone. She swore she would never be like her mother and let a man like her father run over her and ultimately ruin her entire existence. “They all leave eventually,” Sarah thought to her self the night before as she swallowed the poisons that were to end her so-called misery. He had been the father she never wanted, but always needed. And she had given in to love, in which she always thought to be a lie.
The little piece of paper that would have been her last testimony to her family and friends was neatly folded at the end of her bed. Sarah couldn’t understand why her attempt had failed, “A fucking waste of paper,” she said to herself. She opened up the note:
To whom it may concern,
This will be the last time I cry; the last time I put my all into a lie.
I cant take the pain of a love lost…a love never had….the story of my life.
She laughed out loud. “What a fucking maniac I am!” As she looked down at her ring finger where the engagement ring he had given her had been, she wondered what she had done with it in her drunken state the night before. Her eyes began to tear. In her little apartment with vomit all over her bed spread on her 27th birthday, she was alone. She walked to the kitchen to grab a knife. “I’ve seen this in a movie once…it’s a sure thing,” she thought. Upon opening up the silverware drawer she saw that there were no clean knives. “FUCK!” she screamed. It wasn’t suppose to be this hard to kill yourself. If only she had gotten her firearm license like she had planned, she could have shot herself and went out in true “bad ass” fashion. She had planned on buying a gun, she had planned on getting a skull tattoo on her breast and she had planned on skydiving one day. But Sarah never got around to any of those things. Instead she lead a very safe life. Sarah was just a “Sarah” .Not quite the rebel she thought she was. And maybe that was the reason she was alive today.
As she lay on the cold kitchen floor she suddenly felt awake. She was alive. She was suppose to be dead today, but she was alive! Her doorbell rang. “Great,” she said. “Happy Birthday my love,” her mother sang, bursting through the door. “Well! It looks like you celebrated early huh?!” Sarah ran to the toilet to dispose of what would be the last of her vomit. “My dear! Its 3pm! Open these blinds and lets get the day started!” Sarah wiped the throw up from her mouth and sat on the edge of her bed. “Looks like you’ve had a rough night,” her mother laughed. Sarah just looked at her and couldn’t help but smile. She paused for a moment to decide whether or not she’d tell her mom about all that had happened the night before. Perhaps she’d show her the suicide note, or explain what she had been through the previous night. But instead, she smiled and didn’t say a word.
She stood up to open the blinds as her mother had ordered. Sarah listened as her mother talked loudly about something Sarah was obviously not paying attention to. As she looked out the window she realized, even though it was cold that day…the sun was shining and her life was just fine.
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 6:10 PM
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 10:35 PM
Friday, June 5, 2009
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 11:11 PM
Thursday, June 4, 2009
I want to smile @ Strangers
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 1:37 AM
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 2:14 AM
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 1:30 AM
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
I'm not a morning person....
I'm not a day person...
I'm not a night person either
I'm beginning to think...
I'm not a person @ all
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 10:26 PM
Sunday, May 31, 2009
I Love this Scene
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 12:32 PM
Friday, May 29, 2009
because I'm only talking to you....
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 1:33 PM
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 12:55 AM
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 12:36 AM
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 2:41 AM
This is one of those songs I put on repeat and fall asleep to...and wake up to
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 12:48 AM
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 4:05 PM
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 12:29 AM
Friday, May 22, 2009
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 7:11 PM
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 4:47 PM
& by the end of the day,
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 3:05 PM
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 11:02 AM
life is way too short to play games and be fake.
thats why I do what I feel in the moment
and Im never afraid to make a mistake
and im never afraid to feel what Im feeling
and Im never stingy with my love and affection
I'll be a Loser
I'll take that L
I'll be an L7...lol (if ur slow, thats a square)
I'll tell you "I Love You" if I feel like I love you
Y do I have to be crazy because I feel like
I love you
You must not know what that statement means....
Its not that deep...or serious (Puh- Leeeaase!)
I didnt say I wanna marry you, or die with u, or anything!!
I didnt even say anything!
Cuz i'm Chill now
(meaning, "im cool" "im good" "no thank u")
I'm not crazy
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 4:13 AM
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 3:05 AM
Monday, May 18, 2009
Posted by Jhene Aiko Efuru Chilombo at 12:54 PM